نظرتها
بقلم: د. نجوى عبد الجواد
ترجمها إلى الإنجليزية عبد اللطيف غسري
كانت من أقاربه. رشحها والده له ليتزوجها
لم يمانع، لم تكن منتهي أمله لكن لابأس بها. عاشا فى بيت العائلة، اعتبر أن دوره انتهى
بقبول الزواج وإنجاب طفليه. فبيت العائلة كفيل بكل شيء وهى لاتمانع فى خدمته وأولادها
ووالديه. لم تتغير حياته ولا اهتماماته. رآها إكمالا لطقوس الحياة، طعام وشراب وزواج
وإنجاب. كانت تعمل فى البيت معظم الوقت، وعندما تراه لم تكن تطالبه بشئ فقط نظرة لم
تكن تفارقها كلما اجتمعا. نظرة لوم، عتاب،ألم .لم يقف عندها كثيرا، ولم يشغل نفسه بالسؤال
أو حتى التفكير فى مغزاها. ظل الحال هكذا إلى أن حملت بطفلها الثالث وبدأت تشعر بآلام
وصعوبة فى التنفس وخمول وكانت صدمة الجميع لقد أصيبت بالمرض سىء الذكر وفى مراحل متأخرة.
وكأنه استيقظ من سبات عميق أخذ يراجع شريط حياتهما لم يدرك من قبل أنه بهذا السوء.
ياربي مد فى عمرها حتى أعوضها. من الممكن أن نحيا أفضل مازال هناك مايمكن فعله، مازال
هناك مايمكن قوله. فرصة ثانية يا ربي. وكان لابد من التخلص من الجنين أعطاها الأطباء
حقنة وتركوها لآلامها.كان بجوارها، عينه مثبتة عليها. قلبه يلهث بالدعاء. يعجب من صبرها
على الألم ،تصبر كما صبرت عليه من قبل. فارق الجنين الحياة وهو محدق فيه وفيها لكنها
أبدا لم تنظر إليه هذه المرة كانت عيناها موجهة نحو أخيها نظرات وداع، ألم، توصية بأبنائها.
اتجه إلى حيث تنظر ووقف أمامها والتقت عيناهما . كانت النظرة نفسها التى اعتاد رؤيتها
أضيف إليها حوار صامت حزين. ودّعته بها وفارقت الحياة.
مرت سنوات وهذه النظرة لاتفارقه. صارت جلاده
فى كل لحظة. رفع عينيه الحزينتين وسألني كيف أتخلص من نظرتها؟ لقد رحلت وتركتنى أسير نظرتها. نظرت إليه مشفقة
وقلت له ادع لها بالرحمة.
ولكل من يقرأ القصة يدعو بالرحمة لصديقتى
صاحبة نظرة العتاب.
د. نجوى عبد الجواد
The Look In Her Eyes
A short story by Dr Najwa Abdel Jawad
Translated from Arabic by ABDELLATIF RHESRI
She was one
of his relatives whom his father had nominated for him to marry. He made no
objection to her. She was not the one he was wishing for, but she was
acceptable. They had lived together in the family house. He considered his role
was over with his approval of the marriage and his begetting his two children.
For, the household would take charge of everything else. Besides, she did not
object to serving him, his kids and parents. His life did not change, nor his
interests. He thought of her as a mere complement of life rituals; food,
drinks, marriage and having children. She would do the housework most of the
time, and when she saw him she would ask for nothing from him, except for a look that never disappeared from
her eyes whenever they got together. It was a look of reproach and pain. He
never paid much heed to it. He never even care to ask himself or ponder about
its significance. That situation remained so untill she got pregnant of her
third child. She started to feel much pain and
have difficulty breathing, along with lethargy. Everybody was shocked
after they had known that she had been inflicted with that morbid disease at
its later stages. It seemed as if he had awoken from a deep sleep. He began
reviewing the tape of his life, which be had never realized it was so bad. O
God, please let her live more, so that I can compensate her. We can possibly
lead a better life. There's still so much we can do. There's still so much we
can say. Another chance, please God! It was necessary to get rid of the embryo.
The doctors administered an injection to her and left her to her pains. He
stayed by her side, fixing his eyes on her. His heart was praying for her with
each and every beat. He marveled at her forbearance of the pain. She seemed as
patient as she had always been about him
The embryo passed away while he was staring at
it and at her. Yet, that time she never looked at him. Her eyes were directed
toward her brother full of farewell looks, and full of pains and
recommendations concerning her kids. He turned his eyes to where she was
looking, then he stood in front of her, so their eyes met. It was the same look
which he was used to seeing, but with a sorrowful, silent dialogue added to it.
She bade him farewell with that look, and passed away.
Years went
by, and that look had never left his mind. It became an executioner that kept
whipping him in every moment. He raised his sad eyes and asked me; How can I get rid of her look? She's gone and
has left me prisoner of her look". I looked at him with pity and tod him;
"Just pray God to have mercy on her.
I urge
whoever reads this story to pray God to have mercy on my female friend, the one
with the reproachful look.
إرسال تعليق